Some anger—at yourself, your spouse, your doctor, your baby or life itself—may be necessary for you as you experience the grieving process. Like guilt, it can be harmful as well. Too much anger distracts from the purpose of grieving: to reconcile your past experiences with your future plans, to make sense out of what you have been through.
If you feel angry at God, tell him! Some people who suffer a miscarriage or stillbirth feel that since they didn't have any control over their baby's death, it must be "God's fault." Others choose to stop believing in God altogether. It's true that God controls life—and the time of death for each one of us. He's also wise and loving enough to handle your emotions—even anger directed toward him.
But don't let yourself stop at the anger stage without moving forward. This will make you, and those you love, suffer more than necessary. Excessive anger does not honor the memory of your child or bring your child back. It stunts the healing process and keeps you from becoming whole again. Be careful to keep your anger under control, so that it cannot control you.
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