After losing my baby, I struggled to find ways to remember a person I had not met, had not spoken to, and had not touched. How do you honor the memory of your child in a healthy way? I chose to save a special stuffed animal that had been purchased specifically for the baby. My husband’s parents gave us a framed photo with a verse that was symbolic of our loss. The picture hangs on our wall as a reminder of our unborn baby (even though other people wouldn’t know that at first). I had pictures taken of me in the hospital and at home with the cards and flowers that people sent. These photos remind me that people cared and that my experience was very real. In addition, I framed the ultrasound pictures that we received on the day we found out that our baby had died. Since this is the only "picture" I have of my first baby, it is very special and comforting.
After our baby died, I didn’t think that I wanted to give him or her a name (especially since we didn’t know our baby’s gender). But I didn’t feel settled with this decision so we decided to name our baby a few weeks after we lost it. We have found this to be tremendously helpful in distinguishing between pregnancies and children (the baby we lost and our subsequent child), making our experience more "real," and allowing us to clearly talk with close family and friends about our loss. I know one couple that chose a name for their baby over twelve years after the baby died in the womb.
|
|
There are as many ways to remember your baby as there are babies. Choose a few ways that resonate with your situation and memories. It could be a scrapbook, a toy, an outfit, a Christmas ornament, a piece of art—or whatever you want! It’s never too late to remember what you have been through, and the little person who touched your life!
|
|
|
